If the fighting arts provide the tools to defend yourself, still they are not the method.

The method of self defense is psychological for two-thirds, and not physical.

There are three parts to know in order to avoid becoming a victim:

– Detection of potential dangers,
– Diffusion of confrontational situations,
– Defense techniques for the confrontation.

Therefore, it is clear that the fight is only part of the art of self defense, but an essential part.

If I do not believe in my ability to survive a physical conflict, I will not be able to diffuse a potential situation. The fear that will overwhelm me at the time of discussion with the attacker will stop me from thinking and behaving as I should.

The knowledge of my physical abilities, the experience of the training, will enable me to diffuse the aggression. The more I’m comfortable with my self-defense techniques, the more I can be relaxed when I discuss, the more I have a chance to prevent the actual attack

The fighting arts, martial arts and combat sports techniques are useful but not always accessible in a stressful situation. There must be a transition between a verbal situation and the physical combat: this transition is the science of self-defense.

The danger detection techniques will be the subject of a detailed study later. For now, it’s pretty easy to know when you are in a potentially dangerous or a safe place. Just use your common sense. For those who would not have it available, we’ll talk about that later.

The situation of confrontation

Confrontations may depend on three kinds of motivations:

– Financial
– Sexual
– Ludic

Simply put, you will be the target of potential violence for your money, for your body, or to be used as a “stress relief” to an individual or a group who like to think of themselves as predators.

Obviously if money is the only motivation of your attacker, it is only very rarely worth fighting, just give it.

The first thing to consider is that if you are chosen by your attacker, it is because he believes he will win. He would not seek a conflict with the intention of losing. No one engages in a confrontation, in an attack with the certainty of losing. This prejudice of an easy victory is very important.

It is with this first contact that you go to an important moment of the confrontation : the interview.

In this dialogue, the attacker will get his threats and demands.

You should know several things at this stage:

– 60% of the communication between two people is expressed through body language,  position and movement. 30% is in the tone and flow of the voice. The rest of the communication is composed of the words and their meaning. Obviously the work on the position is vital in such situations.
– In this communication, you should neither challenge nor command, nor threaten or imply that your attacker is wrong. You must remain in a precise register that can not inflame the situation.
– In this phase of dialogue, one should review the basics of detection, we will see that later.

The attacker is there and, once again, he chose you only because he believes he will achieve his goals. If through your attitude, your speech, you can show him that you are not a victim, there’s every chance that the process stops there.

If the interview does not result in a stoppage of the conflict, we must move on to the next step. Physical confrontation in a situation of self-defense requires that you become aware of several points during the final phase of the interview.
When we realize that this can not be resolved without violence, we must:

– Accept the situation, and not look the other way.
– Put our attention on physical sensations.
– Evaluate the attacker.

It is very dangerous to refuse to see the situation as it is, to think that everything will disappear. We must accept that moment and follow it. Imprisonment in our brooding mind is obviously dangerous here. The focus of the attention must be on certain parts of the body, kinesthetic sensations. It’s time to stop paying attention on what your attacker may say and to see him as a target, a punching bag.

The self defense techniques cannot be discussed, it is an experience of the body.
The qualities developed in the fighting arts, martial arts and combat sports will be useful. Still they are not necessary and sometimes cumbersome.

It is clear that we live in a world where it’s possible never to find ourselves in these violent situations. However, the stories we’ve all heard one day teach us that no one is out of range … And, knowing that we can defend ourselves should not be an excuse not to avoid conflict.